kendel and i are very careful about what we allow ezra to watch. i'm pretty sure he thinks the only thing on television is thomas the train. we are careful about what we read to him, what we listen to in the car, what we say to one another, etc. etc. so the following story came as a bit of a surprise to us the other day.
i had just finished bathing ezra, and he was running around upstairs in our apartment naked. to this point in his life, there are very few things that have frightened ezra, but as i chased him from his bedroom toward our bedroom, he stopped in his tracks with a very frightened look on his face. our room was pitch-dark. i asked him, "ezra, what's wrong?" he looked at me; he looked at the room, and said, "it shcary, daddy." so i said, "what's scary, ezra?" of all things, he said, "shcary monsters in the bedroom, daddy."
monsters?! i certainly didn't teach him that word, nor did kendel. so i then proceeded to ask him, "who talks about monsters? did you learn that at school?" "yes, daddy. parker talks about monsters." with rage toward parker beginning to boil in my veins, i said, "ezra, there are no monsters. parker's an idiot."
ok, so i didn't say the last part. i'm a better parent than that. but i wish i could have. it's true.
anyway, in order to quell my child's fears, i decided to pick him up in my arms and tell him that he has nothing to fear. there are no monsters in our house. i then walked through every last inch of the room turning on all of the lights showing him that monsters don't exist. that seemed to do the trick.
until the next night when the same scenario happened! i again walked him through the room and he was once again just fine. this scenario ended up happening for about 4 or 5 nights in a row, and on every occassion the story was the same--he learned about monsters at school from parker. this parker kid was really beginning to piss me off. so i decided i needed to have a little chat with ezra's daycare. i was gonna go in there in kick little parker's tail and show him who the real monster was. i was going to make him afraid. i was going to make him very afraid.
ok. if you know me, you know i would never really do that. but i did speak with ezra's teachers about the matter asking if this parker kid was running his mouth about monsters. the teachers just looked at me and laughed. i was beginning to get angry, and i didn't think they understood how serious i was about this issue until one of them looked at me and with a big smile said, "no. parker doesn't talk yet."
ha! i guess you can't trust everything a two-year old says. with that said, we were right to wonder if ezra had heard about monsters at school because the teachers said there was another boy in the class who had been talking about monsters lately. i considered teaching ezra a few dirty words just so he could go to class and teach that boy some dirty words, but i figured that might be counter productive. ahh, the joys of parenting!
Amy Shares Chapel Message
2 years ago
3 comments:
I think it's normal that kids almost find things to be scared of. You know we are careful with what are kids watch/hear too...and Anna-Kate went through a time of being scared of giants (a la David and Goliath). She was talking about monsters last night and saying she would be brave if she saw them...so I had to remind her that there are no monsters and there is no reason to be afraid...and asked her why. It's been close to a year since the giant fear but she responded, "I dont' need to be scared because Jesus and Daddy protect me". :) We know Jesus does his part, and, clearly, you are doing your part Eric. :)
Yup. It's pretty normal I'd say. We had that happen. Then, out of nowhere, Isaac saw a George episode that dealt with being scared of the dark and isaac identified with that and so, so far, it hasn't been a problem. WWGD. Of course, he also doesn't sleep in his own bed all night because he's scared of choo choo's and sirens... so...
Anyway, we do the when we are scared we just need to ask jesus to help us not to be scared anymore for the choo choo's and sirens. And, in Isaac fashion, he then trends towards discussion of "how's" and "why's" (God's here with us, all the time) and he will sometimes tell us this isn't working because God's with the "other kids."
Best of luck. But I'd say it's healthy, to a degree. And you're spot on in how you address it (even the dirty words seems Old Testament enough to be allowable -- eye for an eye). But for good and bad, goes to show no matter the protection you try to provide, it's still prone to the unknowable world. It's like PCs I suppose. Yup. Parenting is not at all like a Mac. There. I went there. Yup.
Thanks fellow parents! I'm beginning to realize that there is an age of innocence, and there is an age of knowledge of good and evil - not unlike the Genesis account of creation. I think Ezra is moving into the second stage where he is beginning to realize that good and evil exist and that evil is scary. I mentioned the "monsters" but there are few other examples that have just popped up recently where he has expressed fear. I guess that's just part of growing up.
Thanks for the encouragement Janelle. Aaron, I'm not going to wrestle with you over Macs vs. PCs. I just bought some shares of Apple stock, so I'm rooting for Macs too!
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